Like a Song (Recovery Snapshot)
by janesbiotch
Summary: For those who thought my Recovery story ended weird and quick is because it's a series now, and i revisit them at different times of Brian's recovery so that you can see what happened. Here's the first right after that final surgery.


p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin stood very still and silent staring at that door./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""You can do it!" He constantly cheered himself on, but deep down he knew he couldn't./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Brian Kinney stared at himself in the mirror frowning. He looked at the clock and he knew that it was 8 AM. 8 AM and Justin was not there, but he knew he was coming. He knew he would come everyday, and everyday he would hurt him. He knew the operation was supposed to make it better but all it did was screw him. He fucked everything up./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin took a few deep breaths. This would be the last day he came everyday. It just hurt too much. It hurt seeing him there but not be there. He should have listened to Dr. Hooks, Brian would do so much better without distraction. He knew now that was what he truly was. He took one more breath and entered the room./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Hi." Justin greeted Brian once he entered./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Hi." Brian replied trying to cut through the tension in the room./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"It was always awkward. It shouldn't be. That's why they both knew things had to change./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I can't do this anymore!" Justin shouted rising to his feet./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Do what?" Brian asked as if confused. He wasn't though far from it in fact./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""This! Everyday I do this. I come in here hoping that you remember what we are to each other. It is not fair Brian. I did the right thing after your accident. I stuck by you not out of guilt, or obligation, but out of love. What do you do? You pissed on it. So what if you were a little different? I didn't care. I never did." He shouted taking up the note cards he had given Brian to help him recall snippets of his llfe./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What are you doing?" Brian asked panicked, reaching for the notes./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""I'm leaving. I come everyday and go over the notes. I see how it kills you, but for me to keep coming back says I forgive you. I don't you made it worst and I have to be there for Izzy cause you can't. God its like I'm being cruel, you ruined it. We were so close and hurts to deep everyday I realize something i remember as clear as day you can barely recall. It..it..it hurts to much." Justin told him as he turned to leave./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Like a song!" Brian shouted./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What?" Justin asked confused./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""You know how when your sitting around, I don't know doing absolutely nothing. You just start thinking about random things and you think of a song. A song you know you know and you know you know it. You know the melody and you can hear the artist singing it just as clear as day, but when you try to sing it, its all wrong. You snap your fingers and hum along but the words are on the tip of your tongue." Brian tried to explain./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""A song?" Justin stared back at him in disbelief. Was he actually comparing how he had fucked them over to a song./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Yea. It is like when i ask if you are Justin? I know you're you but are you? Or am I still huming along and its not you. I know I did this, I tried to get back who I was. You deserved so much better. You had stuck around long enough to get what you wanted, and I know I might not remember later so I need to say it while I have the nerve."/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin looked at Brian closely. He was practically vibrating he was full of emotion. He never really said I love you still, but he wanted to say something. He was almost afraid to ask what./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""What are you saying?" Justin whisperd./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""It's like that song. I love the feeling I feel when I hear it. You know, your head gets all tight and you feel good all over. That's you, I'm so close I can touch you but then it's gone. So please could you teach me the words?"/p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;"Justin really didn't know how they ended up in each others arms but they did. Holding tightly to each other neither wanting to let go./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;""Don't worry Brian." he whispered. "I'll teach you every word, every fucking one./p  
p style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; background-color: #f5fafa;" /p 


End file.
